1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Months

March was my first month with a dietitian and I started at 306 lbs.

April my second month; it wasn’t so good; It didn’t show I had made any progress and I gained 3lbs and was at 309lbs.  I followed the 1500 calorie diet, but I don’t think I was exercising enough.

May my third month; was pretty good, minus trying to exercise and eat right and pack an apartment so we could move.  My weigh in for May said I was down to 298; 11lbs.  I was happy with that outcome and it showed exercising does help, and so does moving into a house that has stairs lol.

June 12th marks my fourth month. I have done ok so far, but I know I really need to buckle down and stick to eating healthier foods and watching my portion size.  I was down 11lbs last month which was amazing.  I get scared every time I go in to get my weight checked to see if I have gained or lost any more pounds from the previous month.  If all goes well I should be having my surgery for Gastric bypass in September at the latest October.  I still need to call a Psychologist and schedule a meeting with them, to talk about the outcome of a surgery like this and how I will be able to handle it.

I have a lot question running through my head as of right now.  I have always been a heavy person, and never thought of myself as ugly, but as pretty, but heavy.  And when I do have surgery and start to lose weight a little at a time, what will I look like, and will I still be pretty on the outside.  Will I have saggy skin?   My boyfriend Isaac does an amazing job at letting me know how beautiful I am and that I will still be beautiful after.  He reminds me that I am not as heavy as the people I see on TV and I most likely will not have the complications that they do after surgery.

I am scared to find out what the future holds for me and wonder what kind of person is hiding behind all the weight. I have carried around with me my whole life.  I am excited to one day be able to enjoy shopping for clothes/ more so a Wedding Dress and getting pregnant and being healthy enough to carry a baby and being able to see my belly grow and get bigger because I’m caring for another life and it’s my responsibly to see that this life is brought into this world healthy and into a loving home.

I can’t wait to see how the future unfolds for me.